Thoughts of a drunken stupper

Random thoughts:

Why is there braille on a drive thru ATM?

Stores that are open 24 -7 365, yet, they have locks on the doors.

When I'm older, I'm going to shop out of other people's grocery carts. Honestly, what can they do? They haven't paid for it yet.

You know you're old when your teeth go in a glass and your boobs go in a box.

Life is like a big shit sandwich. Sometimes we all have to take a bite. Currently I'm at the buffet.

I wanted to be a WalMart greeter. I was not hired. I was not old enough, deaf enough, cranky enough, didn't drool enough, my hands didn't shake enough, I was not ugly enough to scare young children, I couldn't get a cart slow enough, I didn't fart randomly enough, had too many teeth, not enough liver spots, not a member of AARP (Another Adult Ready for Pasture), didn't smell like Rolaids and bengay, and lastly, didn't have crap and urine stains on my uniform.

ok, it's computer ACRONYM time: Ruth's and Stephanie's new way of spelling it out

ROTFLMAO: relaxing on the futon, lounging my ass off (used when by poolside)
LOL: Lots of Losers (used when in a chat house surrounded by ugly people)
ABS: Automatic Bitch Slap (used when chatting and someone's all up in your space)
LTFD: La Te Friggin Da (for when your not impressed)
YMWAB: You're my way away buddy - NOT- Your mama wears army boots.
DBTA: Drunk but typing anyway.
YW: You're wasted.

I gave up my diet. I just found alot of fat friends. Now, I look thinner than ever.

How are white eggs different from brown eggs? I think it has something to do with the chicken, but I don't remember.

If Olivia de Havilland married Lawrence Olivier, she would be Olivia Olivier.

Brittany Spears is a Bette Midler wanna be.

If a midget is gay, does he come out of a cabinet instead of a closet?

One final thought for this evening, Johnnie Depp is a hottie. If I had 5 minutes with him, I would want 10.

Peace out.

Let me entertain you

Welcome to my world. The decision to "come on in" is totally up to you. Some verbiage may be a bit too dramatic for some to handle, but hey, that's just me. I can assure you that you won't be bored. I might decide to share some of my poetry from time to time, but this will be writings of random thoughts that fit the ticket to my title - Organizing Chaos. My brain goes 90 to nothing, even on a slow day. So, sit back and enjoy the ride. I can't promise you it's not going to be a wild one. Till next time... my first official blog. Happy reading.

Stephanie